Mars Post Office

Mars | Directory | Sagan

Copyright© 1999 by Russell R. Robinson. All rights reserved

Yes, this is all real email we received when the Mars Hoax Site began. Yes, some persons thought we were serious. No, we no longer post any mail here so don't bother to send your obscene rantings as they that will not earn you a place on this page.

The good!

The bad

The Ugly

Subject: mars hoax
Love it!
Great stuff, superb artwork.

My stomach hurts.

I've been laughing for the past 15 minutes. Those images are REALLY FUNNY. I mean hilarious. When I saw that cat I lost it. Carl Sagan clones on Mars. I printed them and there will reside on my desk for days to come.

You should write for NBC or something.

I'm a former student of Dr. Sagan's (and an eternal admirer) and I think he would find your work amusing.
In his memory,

To: busybee@widgetmagic.com
Subject: Mars Hoax

http://www.widgetmagic.com/mars.htm

BRAVO!!!! Huzzah! LOL!

John

Dear Supreme Being -

I didn't know you were on the Web, but I clicked on Contact the Creator and here you are... Well, I guess you do have to keep up with the times.

I'm sure that you will be pleased to know that AltaVista placed your page at the top of the list when I searched for +pathfinder +mars +sojourner. Now back to my search for REAL Martians...

Keep up the good work and your sense of humour.

Tom

... Check your shadowing when you super-impose a man on to them. Cute kitty, but give me a break!!!...my day kinda sucked.
< Oh, if you are so talented then send me your version of Spielberg on Mars.>

From: "@internet cafe expres" <inexpres@supernet.com.mx>
Subject: I WANT A PICTURE OF PATHFINTER WITH MY IS POSIBLE ? PLEASE A PICTURE THE PATHFINDER IN MARS WITH MY PICTURE , MY FONE IS IN MEXICO CITY 6949199 MY NAME IS GONZALO GONZALEZ, AND NOT SPEAK EINGLISH

<Dear Gonzalo Gonzalez, Hey, here is an idea: take a picture of your behind and I'll make you one of the "moons" of Mars. Your mom would love it! And all your friends will recognize you right away! Russell R.>

Subject: Liar!

I can't believe the extent to which you sons of bitches will go to discredit the space program! Many people spent long hours working to plan this mission, test their theories, and eventually carrying it out
to make history on our planetary neighbor.
But in the meantime, you assholes just waited for it to happen, then discredited and dishonored the time that many good people spent working on this project.

What about all of the pictures of the scientists putting together the
components of the explorer on earth before they were launched? I suppose those were faked as well.

As for your pictures, YOU are the people who are behind a hoax. All of your pictures look as if you just obtained the REAL pictures and
inserted Steven Speilberg and other things onto them. The lighting and the shadows don't even coincide! And what are the chances that the production crew let a cat walk onto the set, sit next to the rover, then take a picture of the two? That's BULL-SHIT.

I hope you people think long and hard about how stupid your little story is to the rest of us in the real world.

-A Mad Scientist

Subject: Your pathetic Web Site.
Do you not have anything else to do with your time. I mean come on what is in it for you to produce such a piss poor web site. I think that you should be one of the first ones they send on the manned mission to mars. Not only
to prove it to you dumbass but also if anything goes wrong, well ya know no big loss. Thank you for your time I know you must have a lot of it.

Subject:You're sick,
Can't you find anything better to do with your time than this sillyness?!? The landing on Mars a Hoax! I suppose you think theWright Brothers faked it all too. Your comparison to Orson Wells is off too. He wasn't trying to fool anybody. In fact it was anounced at the beginning of the show and at several points during the show that it was just a radio show and not real.

I think you need to gain some more appreciation for modern science, the wonderous things it can accomplish and where it will lead all of us in the not so distant future.

To: busybee@widgetmagic.com
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: Text/Plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Message-Id: <winATT-2.7.1-rfague-188>

And the Earth is flat, the moon is made of green cheese, etc.

Before you go around saying things like the Mars project is a hoax, we'd (the 99% of us who don't run around shooting our mouths off making claims we have no chance of ever proving) all like to see some proof. Otherwise, you sound like just another shoot from the hip conspiracy theorist. Get a life or a girlfriend, willya?

From: RINGOQ6@aol.com
Subject: No Subject

This is trash, try bulshitting people who have an IQ of ten or less please.This is not only an insult to my intelligence, but to the memory of one of the greatest minds this country has produced in its history. Have some fucking respect you insignificant piece of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sincerly yours,
Andrew

Subject: heroworship <edited for brevity>

Russell R., ...I sit here channeling the spirit of Orson Welles,.. you would take fantasy foolers and practical jokers as important enough for you to practice your art form, for you to slave and sweat your earthly time,...Mr. Lucas and Mr. what's his name,.. you idolize that?...good luck, you need it...medical, dental, a roof and three squares, etc...and that's where their greatness lies... Mr. Lucas, as an industrialist/capitalist of magnitude, he's made his mark in real estate development...They sure don't need any sucking-up 'credit' ...bla bla bal whippity-doo-dah..zam bam pow...Russell R., are you still kissing the backside of your Spielberg photo? How much diid they pay you?

Leslie

Subject: hahahaha!!

god, if you were going to say the Mars mission is a fake, you could of
at least made the pictures of Speilberg look a little more realistic! Come on people, that looked like shit!
its obvious that the pictures of the director and the Mars surface were
off!! Jesus Christ, you must know nothing about art. You need a better graphics program. Hahaha, you stupid asshole trying to fake us all out?! Ha!! I think it was said best by someone else when she or he told you to "get a life"

Subject: Hoax believed by news media

In response to your question...Where or what news media believed your web page...It was WATE TV Channel 6 in East Tennessee. They certainly did report on your
web page and never questioned its validity. If you want to gloat or generally call them rubes, they can be found at WWW.WATE.COM. I would like to congratulate you once again on a masterpiece of work.

Congratulations!!!

Your site has been selected by the wacky people at The Worst Of The Web. The page we have selected for this wonderful honor is "Mars Photos Hoax" located at http://www.widgetmagic.com/mars.htm.

... at least someone out there is willing to recognize your work. Please accept our trophy of dubious merit and display it proudly ...
Sincerely,
Buzz, Melvin, & Chip
Worst of the Web.

Subject: Re: >the humor-impaired...

---------------------------------------------------------

*sigh* Obviously you need a Header that says:

"THIS SITE NOT CLOSE CAPTIONED
FOR THE HUMOR IMPAIRED."
<shakes head sadly>

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MARS AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH: Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".

The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert, "bouncing" several times before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases". Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.

General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris. Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's statements as evidence of "an obvious government cover-up", pointing out that Mars has no swamps.

Subject: Mars Hoax/Your photography
Nice site, enjoyed your photography.
Thanks.

Gordon , Toronto

Enjoyed the page you are hosting on the Mars hoax. I needed a good laugh for the day. :)